My little boy, Lucas, was born just over 4 months ago and I have decided to create a little keepsake of my memories to look back on in the months and years to come. Some memories of him, some of my time as a mum and some other little events that have made me laugh, cry or otherwise. I don’t imagine that he will ever read back on these words but if he does I hope he knows how much I love him – if he doesn’t know yet then perhaps the fact that he is still allowed in my house at the moment, 50 minutes into his latest crying fit, should be an indication, I mean if this is what they call sleeping like a baby, none of us have any hope!
Oh no, there’s much worse news, he’s just gone quiet and my husband has just said “I think he’s gone down”, if ever there were a bad omen these immortal words are always the start.
I digress! The last 4 and a half months have been without a doubt the most emotional of my life. From the tears of joy shed in the birthing pool when I pulled him out of the water and into this world to the moment when my husband came home from work and on hearing the baby crying said to me “are you alright?”, to which I responded, “DO I LOOK ALRIGHT??? - I have a cushion over my head, no one with a cushion over their head is ever alright!” But I wouldn’t change them for the world. Okay, maybe I’d have asked for a bit less crying and a bit more sleep, but on the whole, my life has changed for good and I have never once regretted that.
Some friends and I were talking a while back about the comments people make when you tell them you are pregnant. With the exception of a couple of our family members who went out of their way to tell us how amazing babies are, the majority of people, strangers and old friends alike, seem to focus so much on the negatives; ‘Goodbye sleep’, ‘They’re a handful’, ‘You won’t be able to enjoy anything ever again...’ I admit, I was ill prepared for the lack of sleep, the energy required and the total inability to ever doing anything in the spur of the moment but this was despite the warnings. These comments only served to make me nervous in the latter stages of my pregnancy about whether we’d made the right choice, if we’d really thought this through. But I can tell any expecting mums, my sister included, that all of this is immaterial. These things are fact, your body adapts, you change your lifestyle so that it suits your changing needs and you find your way through. But every time you stumble or think it’s too difficult to cope any more, your little one will look you in the eye, and if you’re very lucky, smile at you, and suddenly you find the strength for anything that lies ahead, even if you do it with your eyes closed and a cushion over your head.
I intend to offer full disclosure on the good, the bad and the ugly in my posts but for now, I want to say, if you’re pregnant and nervous, or in the early days and struggling to imagine the good times ahead, I promise you, it is absolutely the best journey I have ever been on. (Although I was pregnant when I went to Disneyland Florida last year, so this could have been different. But I doubt it.)
Now I need to go and retrieve the dog chew I’ve just heard by dog bury in our bed...Fresh sheets as well, Lucas was sick on the old ones. #Ilovebeingamum